Posted in life & food for thought

Bittersweet nostalgia & longing for childhood days

“Evolving from an innocent , candy-loving joyful child to an adolescent with the mind of a child and the physical resemblance that of an adult’s is perhaps the hardest time of your life.From being able to eat dirt shamelessly and expressing whatever you feel without any fear of judgement ,to fearing every word before speaking and being reluctant to take actions while performing a task. The word ‘risk’ is drilled deep inside your brain; a word which prevents you from living a happy life and which gives you overwhelming feelings of unnecessary fear & anxiety. It fills your mind with ‘what if’s’ and ‘pros & cons’ , so instead of going towards what your heart bleeds for, you cancel all your plans and bury your goals & ambitions deep under your soul.

Once you begin with the process of puberty , not only does your body feel & experience agony and discomfort but your emotions, thoughts, mentality are greatly affected as well. Most of all , your responsibilities change & experience upheavals too. Now as you are heading towards the dark realm of adulthood , a beautiful lie, you ar expected to act ‘maturely’ and are expected to abandon your favorite childhood TV shows, toys and hobbies. You are bound to stop painting and drawing childishly because otherwise you will be labelled as ‘untalented’ ,’unskilled’ and what not. You are expected to act & behave vigilantly or else they will call you a ‘kid -at -heart’ and while you may ask what is so wrong with being called a kid-at-heart anyway? Absolutely nothing! Yes , there is nothing wrong with being called a kid at heart but everyone else around you thinks it is a huge insult to an individual so you have to suppress your inner child and blend in with the surroundings.

You have to be a perfectionist otherwise you will be judged for a single minute mistake which ironically every human tends to make including the ones who label & categorise you but when it comes you to it suddenly seems to beΒ  just all unforgiving & unacceptable! Needless to say , these double standards entirely drain you up; If you do not act ‘maturely’ and adult-like you’re immature and an amateur ( yes ,both the terms will be stamped onto your forehead like nothing is wrong with it) but if you do act maturely for once then God forbid you are a self-absorbed , double-faced person with no opinion of your own whatsoever. They will say you are trying ‘too hard’ to fit in with everybody else and reckon you are superficial.

You are now too old to eat candies and go trick-or-treating on Halloween nights , watch cartoon shows, have plushies in your room and all over your bed but you are still too young to express your feelings or to have problems in your life besides academic & peer pressure and know about the pathetic side of this world.You are still dependent on your parents for constant help regarding every aspect of your life.

Eventually you recall the life you lived over a decade ago , when you just could not wait to grow up and abandon your child skin. However , now you wish to go back and wear that same child skin again.”




I am currently 17 years old and from Pakistan. I love astronomy. Period. The Universe and all that it contains never fails to fascinate me , so I choose to use different astronomical terms in my essays , poems , writings etc. I hope you like my content and that my depiction of life fascinates you as well! :) P.s follow me on instagram for more :@myinterstellarfantasies.

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